I find Christmas more enjoyable when it’s not all about presents. Sure, it’s nice to give and get a little, but last Christmas I spent the whole day surrounded by wrapping paper, hardly talking to anyone as everyone was busily unwrapping, and I couldn’t wait to just go home. Some of my relative really go all out, and it makes me stand out if I go a little “lighter” on the gifts. Last year I made a donation to World Vision in honour of my family, which was a hit, but some of them really aren’t into that. Even if I say please don’t buy me anything, or if I insist on having relative just make a charitable donation in honor of me or something along those lines, some seem almost offended that they can’t go splurge on stuff.
I know it’s earlier, but a lot of us get our shopping done as early as possible……how can I bring back the true meaning of Christmas, and have a nice Christmas day with my family and a few less gifts???
How can I make Christmas less about the gifts in a family who are quite present obsessed?
Posted in Uncategorized.
– March 4, 2010
18 Responses
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instead of presents, go boating on Christmas.
get them absolutely NOTHING.
show the family what Christmas is really about!
go on a skiing trip, or cook dinner all-together.
We give gifts, sure (quite a bit, actually )but our family Christmas is all about family. Singing carols while my grandma plays the piano, playing a brand new board game together, preparing the Christmas dinner and just being and talking with one another. Opening our Christmas crackers is a lot of fun, and even the washing up can be fun if everyone pitches in. Those are the things you remember. Present are great, honestly. But you need to find a way to shift the focus onto bringing your family together. As a suggestion, why not buy a board game for all of you to play?
Get everyone one very sentimental or practical gift. You can give a gift that isn’t a knicknack, or some toy that will be thrown away later, or eaten by the dog …
Try giving things related to their passions, or “activity” gifts that might get the family together sometime other than Christmas. Try museum tickets, or sports tickets (believe me, they don’t have to be the best, most expensive seats in the house.)
Find out, if you don’t know already, what everyone’s really interested in, or something that they’ve always wanted to do. Art supplies, a weekend class in something interesting, etc.
As far as not wanting gifts for yourself, you need to be firm but considerate. Many people show that they care with material things, because it is the easiest way to do so. Your family cares about you, and when you refuse their gifts, it might be insulting. I think telling them that you would like for them to donate is great, but if they must give you something concrete, then ask that they all pitch in for a family vacation or something of the like. That way, everyone contributes, and everyone participates in the actual gift.
i really don’t think u can change ur family at all but u can stick to ur guns about what u do and don’t want from them. Eventually they MAY get the idea but a material family is a material family forever.
Skip the Christmas hoo-ha. Tell your family not to buy you anything, and as you’ve done in the past tell them to make a donation in your honor to the chairity of yours or their choice. In the meantime, don’t sit around and watch them open a ridiculous amount of gifts. Instead go volunteer. I know an animal shelter here close to my home that has difficulty getting volunteers on holidays as all their regular workers are wanting to spend time with family.
Another option is set agreed upon limits. For example, say that adults (18 and over) will not be receiving gifts. Children are the ones who get the most excitment from them anyway. Limits could also be set by not going over a certain dollar amount, say ten bucks.
My family began getting so large with aunts, uncles, cousins, etc., that we stopped getting gifts except for $1.00 gag gifts. We then play a cute little passing party where you’re allowed to steal someone’s prized item. This way we still get the fun of un-wrapping an unidentified gift, and still get to spend time together with very little cash involved!
Good Luck!
Try enlisting help from other relatives who think this is getting out of hand as well. It helps to have re-inforecements.
Merry Christmas…a little early!
I don’t observe Christmas, but I like the idea of a decent gift for the children (books are great, easy to wrap and last for decades) and having a gag gift for older folks.
My dad’s family used to have a White Elephant Exchange amongst the siblings at holiday time. They loved it.
Also, I liked the volunteering suggestion!
i usually buy christmas presents for the small kids and usually make things for the family. like greeting cards for my mother and sister. making hand towles for my brother or leather wallet or something.
making things is so cool and inexpensive or put their name in make a wish foundation or something else.
Our family has felt that way for a long time. We started to make Christmas only for the children and childhood ended with puberty. The children make a list of what they want and we divide it up around the family. There are always a few surprises and Christmas morning is a lot less hectic this way.
In my family instead of buying gifts, that nobody wants or likes we do an ornament exchange. We just go out and buy ornaments instead that way it’s a gift that will be enjoyed every year.
Make sure to start ur day by saying happy birthday to Jesus and retelling the Christmas story to the kids.Then
I suggest u find a school nearby and talk to the teachers. Ask them to make a list of what her most needy children need and have ur kids go out n buy these things. You can even suggest this to ur family and make it a real meaningful and true
Christmas that ur kids will always remember. I would also compensate by buying your kids some gifts too but not so many.
will u can show them like have christmas pictures out iam doing christmas dvd as a favor / gift so they rember the importants
Beth , I don’t know how old you are but I remember this problem well when I was In my 20’s. The way we worked it out was to first just all of us draw names. I know that sounds silly but every one loves to give and get a gift. Even our parents and Grandparents were in this so all you had to buy was one gift. That left you money to buy supplies to bake cookies and goodies to share with your family. One Christmas we all got together and baked cookies and everyone had lots to take home to share with others. I hope this helps and I totally understand its not easy but with time it will change.
Over the years I too gave way more presents then anyone would need. One year I spent literally 30 minutes on the phone ordering gifts for everyone I knew. It totaled $5,000. After that I got the point about what Christmas should be. Admittedly some part of that extravagant gifting was my ego. Now I don’t spend past a set amount, shop early in the year and don’t stress the holidays. You are fighting an uphill battle with your family. All I can say is to do what makes you comfortable when giving gifts. You might help your cause a little by going to the post office and get those letters to Santa. Or donate to Toys for Tots. Make a point of letting other family members know what you are doing and ask if they wish to participate. And if you have children no matter the age insist on starting the 1 in 1 out rule. That means for every gift brought in, they must donate one old item. Good luck and if nothing changes this year don’t stress too much. Your doing right by what’s in your heart is good enough.
I think you’ll be fighting an uphill battle by trying to get your family to change. Apparently, they like giving and getting gifts.
Here are some feel good ideas for purchases you can make:
1) Purchase gifts that are locally and globally friendly. Check out http://www.thebreastcancersite.com for additional links that sell earth-friendly merchandise that support worthy causes.
2) Support your local small retailers by purchasing items from their stores. They depend on Christmas sales to stay in business. On that same note, check out some of your local arts and crafts fair throughout the year and help support those starving artists! ;~)
3) How about fresh floral deliveries to their home for the New Year? Go to your local florist rather than a generic website (think locally.)
Cheers!
If you feel this way you should talk to your relatives about your feelings and maybe you could all get together on Christmas Eve and visit the homeless on the street by giving them something warm to wear and to eat, there are so many people in need ,the elderly ,the unemployed, single mothers, the sick ,contact your church or retirement home etc.. and you will all make a difference.
And remember that not only Christmas is a time of giving!
We do things a little differently at Christmas. We all go to Church together, have dinner, sing carols and then for presents, everyone, including the kids, bring a gift worth 10 dollars and we play take away bingo. Its alot of fun and the whole family is involved and the gifts are minimal.
Why not make cahritable donations on their behalf and give them the cards as gifts, to make a point.